_Here's my problem_: I can only get my email on the Cox server and to my iPhone, but not to Mail on my Mac. One caveat: I can send/receive a message to myself from Mail & the server...!!??? (but not from anyone else)

Sorry, but none of that makes any sense to me. What do you mean by 'the Cox server?' Do you mean webmail?
You can send an email to yourself--is that to your cox email from your cox email?

_Here are my POP Settings_:
* pop.west.cox.net (from another user, I alternated between 'pop' to 'spop' - it doesn't seem to make a difference?)
* smtp.west.cox.net
* Port: 110 (SSL box NOT checked)

To use spop you need to check the ssl box.
You should have the part before the @ in you email address as the User Name.
On the Advanced tab, you should have Password selected for Authentication.
Edit the smtp server list--the option is in the server popup list.
Set it for Password authentication and use the same username and password as for the incoming mail server.
You're not supposed to need that, but give it a shot.

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In fact, fixing email delivery issues is one of the top three things we do for our server management customers. You can save yourself some money by checking these five items first. Now the Cox email address and password are both correct. I normally use Outlook 2010 on the laptop. Interestingly adding the Cox email account to the Windows 8.1 Mail client worked as advertised. 'Shortly after you start Microsoft Outlook for Mac 2011 on Mac OS X El Capitan (version 10.11), Outlook hangs when it tries to sync with the server.

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